its school tomorrow and to be honest i may make an effort to stay in bed. i hate the crap out of school and i wish i got out more.i know i can't succeed if i don't try i know i need to go out more but i guess i'm just to stupid to go outside and do something. i don't know everything seems meaningless the only things that don't to me anymore would be interacting with people or this blog to a lesser extent and i don't know why. i play video games allot before it was fun now it just seems meaningless and pointless i just don't enjoy myself anymore.i don't know why but i am so afraid of screwing up i regret so much i feel so bad about the screw ups i have made. i don't know why why i torment myself so. i used to enjoy one piece probably partially because of the upbeat tone but i finished the dubbed episodes so far. i feel like i had the kinds of experiences i should be having at this age. i don't go out much and i feel like i haven't learned the things i should have and accumulated the real world knowledge i need. and i have people that care about me i feel like a black hole i just suck up kindness attention or what ever but it dose not matter i'm still negative and it just goes to waist cause i never do anything with it. i receive so much and i give so little and i feel guilty. but of course i should thank these people it dose help me. i just feel so in pain so lost and like an idiot i'm always negative i don't know why i continue this. wow this got kinda.......
anyway i hope you enjoyed me B****ing about my problems bye an stuff.
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