the enviroment

our ancestors effed up the environment don't even kid yourself, unfortunately we all have to fix it. are planet is becoming less hospitable and its the fault in large part of the human rac
e this is "global warming" this is what it really is and dose and this isn't new information either this was already one of the ideas on how it works and obviously the right one. but we all need to help if we don't lives will be lost animals will be killed air quality would get worse. you probably know how to help almost anything can either be recycled or composted stop throwing everything away. they talk about green shit but its only getting worse the economy dose not matter if we don't have a habitable planet, and you know what if the planet dies the economy goes with it. in our lifetimes if we don't change this we will experience horrendous weather just like this year for many years to come and it will only get worse we may see disasters that the likes of which where never before seen on this earth. we have to do something collectively we will all die out eventually but we can help decide when.

my opinions peace out have a good day and life

yeah this sucked.............

so some days ago i had a horrible migraine i puked like 3 times i was in horrible horrible pain.i went to the hospital as i thought it was a migraine i got an iv in my wrist they gave me two small bags of painkillers one of anti nausea stuff and a syringe of morphine the headache was mostly gone but my head was still very mildly sore for the next two days and i couldn't talk to my friend for fear of my migraine coming back.

so yeah i guess im back i mean i posted now but ive said i would try to get back to it quite a few times now then i vanish i wouldn't really count on anything at this point to be honest. but as always have a good day and life and this is me saying goodbye

jello

jello is hands down my favorite food it gelatinous it comes in all sorts of fruity colors and flavors its fairly light desert its healthy some brands "recycle" parts that wouldn't be used otherwise and its delicious as crud AND ITS GELATINOUS

should i.......? i might need to...........!

i dono but i feel like instead of thinking stuff like i need to get my but in gear and stop being a pussy or trying to physch myself up i think i just need to do it and not give it a second thought. i think i need to just let those thoughts get blocked out for now an when my brain has had time to rest, when i am stronger maybe then can i start really thinking about things and getting them done. its something i don't want to do i don't want to stop thinking about all manner of things i don't want to block anything out but maybe i need to just for now............

i dono why don't you go ahead and feel free to share your opinions. i apologize for grammar stuffs. and lastly i'm wishing you a good day and a happy life so bye for now

sorry well that was a dumb mess up

wholy crap just realized my last post before i disappeared i literally promised more soon i am so sorry not that i expect i would be forgiven so easily but i feel like a huge dofus and wanted to apologize ((still need a hug though :(.... that was very random))

more about my obsession with my given away games

well days and days earlier we found two discs of my game cube games 1 was one of the sixty dollar games my mom had already bought another copie of pokemon XD gale of darkness and then i found some more in a plastic bag in my game droor today although without the cases they will be no where near as valuable since she gave those away with no games there was sonic xd directors cut there was sonic heros and there was sonic 2 battle and kirby air ride but two of the sonic games where already bought back and i think they where two of the more expensive ones so yeah f but at the same time im very happy

if anybody is still here

well here we are again. its always such a pleasure, ha.. ha.. ha.. ha... anyone get that reference?, no OK didn't really expect anyone to its a pretty common phrase. well i didn't get to it for a while. and i would like to apologize for that.i don't know how i,m going to go about this from now on but it'll probably get updated at least occasionally. i just want to let everyone know i appreciate anyone who is willing to stomach any part of this mess. i ummm i'm still kinda depressed i,m passing everything except math ((which is a horrible disastrous failure since i cant seem to get up in the morning)). oh and i still cant use proper punctuation. sometimes it can be hard to put feelings into words i am sure many of you have felt the pain of this ((by many i mean the bulk of the small amount of people that may read this)). i think this really helped me and after i quite i was in a really bad state for a while. i don't even know how long its been. i guess i'm just trying to use this to cope. i don't know maybe this is selfish but i hope in some form or another i eventually become well known. i want to live forever but since that's probably not a likelihood i want to live for a extended length of time through what i do in my life :) and i think that may just be good enough. but really even though that may be true i'm kinda depressed torn up inside angry and mentally unstable k byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

the most amazing feeling in the world

for me that feeling like when your all cozy in bed everything feels find and your just happy with sleep. the feeling you get when your content with what you have and your able to be happy with what you got. that feeling of content for me is one of the most amazing feelings in the world.i think i don't know but i think that's what iv have been searching for that's what i want just to be happy with what i have and at peace with everything. i think that's part of why i want a girlfriend i think that's what i want to feel like cuddling with her or cuddling will make me feel content because i have something and i'm happy with that. maybe i'm crazy maybe it dose not work like that i don't know all i know is that i want to feel like what i have and who i am is ok i want to just be. i want to be okay with who i am but not to stop changing and getting better.




 ummm bye i'm really tired ill continue more soon i promise

i like pie

i like cake buuuuut to much icing makes me feel sick... but that's ok cause..... i like pie

that was random ..............

*snap*

seriously if i don't find a better way to cope that will help immediately and fast i'm gonna snap

anxiety over having never dated

apparently its pretty usual to have anxiety about never having a girlfriend/boyfriend because you have never had one. to be honest its obvious i was just being negative and worrying i mean some one at some point in my life has to find me attractive right? i mean seriously.from now i will try to stop obsessing over it because many times i have been told and in my heart i know it will happen when it dose and its important i don't rush it.

i i dono this got really depressing.

its school tomorrow and to be honest i may make an effort to stay in bed. i hate the crap out of school and i wish i got out more.i know i can't succeed if i don't try i know i need to go out more but i guess i'm just to stupid to go outside and do something. i don't know everything seems meaningless the only things that don't to me anymore would be interacting with people or this blog to a lesser extent and i don't know why. i play video games allot before it was fun now it just seems meaningless and pointless i just don't enjoy myself anymore.i don't know why but i am so afraid of screwing up i regret so much i feel so bad about the screw ups i have made. i don't know why why i torment myself so. i used to enjoy one piece probably partially because of the upbeat tone but i finished the dubbed episodes so far. i feel like i had the kinds of experiences i should be having at this age. i don't go out much and i feel like i haven't learned the things i should have and accumulated the real world knowledge i need. and i have people that care about me i feel like a black hole i just suck up kindness attention or what ever but it dose not matter i'm still negative and it just goes to waist cause i never do anything with it. i receive so much and i give so little and i feel guilty. but of course i should thank these people it dose help me. i just feel so in pain so lost and like an idiot i'm always negative i don't know why i continue this. wow this got kinda.......




anyway i hope you enjoyed me B****ing about my problems bye an stuff.

blah blah blah im a perv

honestly at this point i am pretty sure if a girl ever asked me out almost regardless of who they are i would say yes om two hormonal i would probably go for any girl given the chance and i need to get my fucking brain in chek

"love" i don't know

to be honest i was not doing my blog because i have been lazy i have not had much enthusiasm lately and i just didn't feel like doing it. truth is and ill be honest there are allot of things i have wanted to talk about. today i'm going to talk about a little bit of a touchy topic "love", and i'm not going to be touchy or sensitive about it either. now i'm gonna worn you other than this i aint gonna beat around the bush so to speak. this topic may offend some people honestly i don't care there my feelings. i held the belief for a long time that love dose not exist that love was simply a human construct not really a part of what humans are. that "love" was constructed from a mismatch of emotions and ultimately lead back to reproductive instincts. now here me out, you love your family and they love you right? well the theory goes that that's because if its a mechanism to make sure genes are passed on and the offspring succeed now of course as a counterbalance the younger  generations must feel something similar to keep the balance. this insures that the relationship is stable and the younger generations can depend on the older ones and vice verse. now to complete the chain as a mechanism brothers for example would have something not as strong but useful to insure the co-operation and survival for as many as possible. that last thing is not really part of the main theory on this note its just what makes sense to me at this moment. as for lovers well you know dam well how that makes sense and i don't really want to go into anymore detail with that. but i guess i can do a little more in depth now obviously there's the relation to reproduction *rub rub rub* snicker snicker snicker. then there is the emotional cocktail those emotions which we associate with love happiness affection and erotic feelings release dopamine and if you love someone you probably find them fun to be around.
and i still don't know if its true even if this isn't entirely accurate the base theory could be true i still believe in love but it just being a product of reproductive functions and emotions of urges is not a belief i'm ready to let go of yet


anyway i hope you enjoyed my depressing views on life i sincerely hope they didn't ruin your day. i apologize for the grammar. as always feel free to comment and speak your mind go nuts but try to keep the hate to a minimum.i wish you a good day and life . and this is me saying goodbye for now so PEACE OUT.

im done online for now

that is seriously what i mean i am not going online for a long while so this is goodbye

some pixel art enjoy

​the first one is just some terraria pixel art i put together it is now also my profile picture i did this because those are simply some of my favorite items((it took a surprising amount of time and effort)) the others are my pixel art enlarged ((it took a little to re-size them but quite a bit of time to make them))

monster hunter Armour skills

in monster hunter i finally got  high rank brachydios armor which is my favorite basically just because it has challenger +2 already on it that and the fact that it also has adrenaline +1 really helps complete the skill set along with the always welcome bombardier for extra boom and extra good times and with all pieces at second upgrade i have a defense of 351 and at third upgrade which i just got 371

personally i got the gems to upgrade adrenaline to level two this way i get a big honking attack boost two. on another note ill post them as there effects. i also have a charm that gives me gathering +1 so that will be listed as well

Adrenaline +1: +40 Defense when Health is below 40%.

Adrenaline +2: +45 Defense and +30% raw damage when Health is below 40%.

Challenger +2: Attack is increased +25 Attack and Affinity +20% when a monster is enraged. ((affinity has to do with crit chance the higher the affinity the better the crit chance))

Bombardier: All Bombs' damage x1.3, as well as granting 100% bomb-combination success rate. Explosive element attack x1.2 (increases to 1.25 with Felyne Gunpowder cooking effect activated).

Gathering +1: Increases chances to get more items from gathering points.

and i have all of these except Adrenaline +1 as i have adrenaline +2.

so ya mad offensive boosts yo XD lol and you get more boom for your buck ((he he horrible joke)) literally.  


anyway i think that's enough for one day i hope you liked this feel free to share an opinion. i would like to apologize again for bad grammar not updating very much lately and bad puns. i wish you a good day and a good life so for now buh-bye 

a email to my mother

i sent this email to my mom today

---

Subject: do you care enough to read through it?

do you want to know why i hate you so much

years years of suffering you know when i was a child how i was so very afraid of death the trauma from that never left

you never show me affection or hug me or try to calm me down when im upset or angry you avoid me your afraid and it hurts me when you threaten punishment instead of trying to calm me down or  comfort me or anything 

after years of my mom ordering me around never seeming to truly care is it any wonder why i resent you so much want an example how many YEARS has it been since you've hugged me

you buy me things feed me and give me cloths i have a place to sleep but you never thought that maybe there was something missing well guess what all those years all that affection that i was never given feeling unwanted and un-cared for my own mother afraid of me like i am a monster it took its tole and now  my self esteem my confidence my determination they all took a hit all demolished. worse then that they where never built up 

i am a damaged person and i will never be who i could have been and im not usually proud of who i am. i am screwed up and i know it and you need to realize why 

((this is not part of the email i wanted to fix something she actually dose hug me at bedtime but it dose not seem to mean anything it just feels like part of the schedule))

sorry for not posting for a while i got really depressed and felt shitty i wish you awesome chiz and goodbye

my mom sold all my old ps2 and gamecube games on a lighter less mentally shattering note i made some pixel art

these games meant something to me she says she will bye them all back eventually but it will take a while and she got rid of my ps2. let me name the most expensive Pokemon XD gale of darkness 60$ sonic adventure two battle  60$ and smash bros melee 70$. they where my childhood, and when she was cleaning up she thought we didn't have a way to play them so she thought it would be "ok" TO GIVE THEM TO VALUE VILLAGE A PLACE THAT DOSE NOT EVEN KNOW THERE VALUE. you know what we could have played them and she screwed up but now i'm going to have those games but not MY GAMES.  

anyway i don't want to talk very much about that cause then i will lose it now for the pixel art. apparently they are not considered image or video files for whatever reason so i cant upload them. anyway its a sword and a better sword .so yah i'm gonna go stew in my agony now so i wish everyone a great day and life i apologize for the grammar and for now bye

i need ideas PLEASE LEAVE YOUR IDEAS FOR A TOPIC IN THE COMMENTS

i have nothing to say i need things to say but my life i completely uneventful i need inspirations someone PLEASE give me a idea anything i am so out of ideas. if you do ill i dono give you a shout out or something or talk to you if you'd like or if you like just leave the idea i just need an idea.

please comment your idea if you have one because i am all out a you wish you a awesome life and day and for now goodbye.

unfortunately its a little to late because mid night just passed but im just really tired and wanted to say that i really do appreciate if anyone reading this.

brilliant fool my sad little tale

i feel as though i am a brilliant fool. i feel stupid i feel smart i don't know what to believe anymore people have told me i sound very smart or mature but i have not done anything much so far. i feel as though i have done nothing all my life i hardly go out i have little friends and my experiences are very limited. i feel as though my hole life i have to this point i have learned little of true value and i feel as though this wasted time will haunt me for all of my existence. i feel as though i wasted sixteen years that feel like an eternity yet no time at all. i have been told i am smart i have been told i have potential but it dos not matter because i am completely clueless. i seek someone to help to light the way teach me show me new experiences i seek friends i seek some to love. yet i have still done nothing i waste my life on a chair and play on a screen i know nothing in reality only fading theory's. i feel as though i have wasted my life even though its only a small part of my life i feel like its all and i am doomed now because of times past. i regret it so much yet while i still have time i continue to play my life away games lose meaning and the amusement fades. i have wasted this time i know not of life if you talk to me on the street you may see i don't know how to talk to you i feel as though i have wasted my life on a screen. i don't know why but i started rhyming at some point.............. whatever. anyway basically if you want a explanation strait up here's it. at school i have been told i'm smart many times even though my grades are bad honestly mostly because of homework  and its mostly staff that say that but i never think its sincere. my hole life i didn't really do much mostly just stayed home. when i was young i was a sad kid.  and by this point you probably know about how i am now. never went out never talked to people i have some problems and i always felt like less when i was younger. i think people try to cheer me up like they compliment me they did more more when i was younger but i am not sure if there sincere and it really screwed with my head after a while i suppose if they weren't being sincere than i didn't want the compliment it hurt. i don't receive a hole lot of affection unless you count compliments that i don't know if there sincere but umm i mean more like hugs and stuff.  i am so slow to do so many things that take brain power i don't know so many practical things i should i can hardly focus i don't have much will to do anything and i just don't get some get things . now i don't want to go out in public. i am scared that ill embarrass myself say something stupid have a emotional out burst not be able to keep it in lose something or have trouble getting home. i need experiences to fix it but i don't want to go out i am scared i know i shouldn't be but i am. i can talk sometimes as if i am much older have much more experience than i do i suppose i do pick up on things but yet in a way i still know next to nothing.

i am sorry i am starting to slack on these goodbye things but umm goodbye.

what day is it today?

its valentines day its more or less just a regular day for except ya know candy i don't have a lover or anything so it dose not really mean diddly squat to me. it dose however make me feel a little extra lonely. so meh it kinda stinks but what ever i mean its nice if you have someone. so if you do have someone i think you should enjoy it or if your not into that kinda thing just relax for another normal day. it don't really matter to me and i don't really care just live your life the way you dictate you where gonna anyway. bye for now.

its really late and i cant think strait so today will be a very short post basically thanks to you all cause i am not at a little over 150 page views which i'm very happy about bye for now.

another rage post with some physiological junk

i really hate my mom sometimes i honestly swear to much and i feel bad about it but she drives me absolutely insane with her constant nagging she dose not get that sometimes its better to shut the fuck up for a second so i don't get more angry. she never comforts me she only nags me its like her sole purpose in life is to annoy and nag me. i mean seriously she dose these stupid little making voices sometimes when some of my favorite anime characters are saying something emotional and important or crying. miss it so i have to look back and try again an there always ((mom and bro)) yapping and interrupting me with nagging and stuff. and they both drive me bat shit crazy my bro is cruel kinda mean and only thinks of himself meanwhile he try,s to hug me for no reason and its like no your not there for me why in hell should i let you hug me. meanwhile i'm just a hormonal teenager just trying to find love and affection and just someone to hold me and say i am here its going to be OK in the form of a girlfriend because i never get affection from my family. and the thing is i long for that so very badly and it drives me bonkers i'm always stressed out and some times i just loose it. so much pressure so many things and my family dose not realize how much i am hurting on the inside or how sincerely angry or frustrated i am. and my mom she never learns what to do she never gets it she dose not get that "just playing around" copieing my favorite anime characters at the most heartfelt times REALLY pisses me off. and its not just that don't get me wrong she screws up like that not learning how to react in so many other ways that one just really pisses me off and hay it was already there.


im sorry guys this just turned into just another i am angry and i hate my family ((family issues)) rant. i am really sorry about this guys but everyone needs to get out there anger some how. i really hope this dose not become a normal thing with me. back on topic anyway i thank you for reading this and apologize for dah grammars. i hope you enjoyed this feel free to share your opinions in the comments. so to end this off i'm going to wish you a great day and life as well as bidding you farewell. ((ps there's one non rage thing about me i just blurted out i think is going on with me physiologically))

instinct part of who i am

one thing that's important about me and that's important to me is i'm a very instinctual person its a important part of who i am and its part of the reason i am who i am. i listen to my instincts and there good to me as for as i'm concerned. i think its important to listen to those feelings ((instincts)) and learn to understand them. in this way i think we can get back so much that for most people has been lost to time and undermined skills that we still have if where willing to except them. in my opinion if you understand your instincts you not only understand yourself better but it can help to understand others better to. anyway instincts play a large part in who i am how i act and what decisions i make.

i think its important that people understand that however you look at it instincts are still a valuable resource to be tapped into and should not just be dismissed as a primal urge.in all honesty my memory sucks i don't really remember things in detail i am left with a  feeling a thought a memory floating about to be retrieved when it is needed. it may sound weird but it dose not feel all that conscious like i don't remember the thought itself but rather what it means and what it means to me. now often times its not really an active memory like its not something that's just oh ya i remember this its not like i can just remember something and its there whenever. its just floating up there but when i do need it like on a test for example i can often remember it when i need to i have the information. although i do remember concepts ideas and functions quite well things like names and dates i have a hard time remembering. so for me its there when i need it and i think that's what really counts.

anyway guys i hope you liked this post. i apologize for the bad grammar. if you have any opinions to share questions or anything of the like feel free to comment. i again would like to say i appreciate it if you've read this far and basically any of this blog for that matter. again i wish you a great day and life. goodbye for now.

when i look back at my life, the meaning of nothing ((warning kinda heavy))

when i look back on my life........ i dont feel pride no joy is found no sense of accomplishment. when i look back on my life all i have to greet me is sorrow pain regret guilt and the feeling of wasted time. i haven't done a lot with my life no great events have changed who i am. there is not much im proud of and there is much i regret. i feel as though i have learned little and know less still. i dont know if im a good person i think i have a kind heart but i dont know.i have yet to determine who i am and will be who i will become later is still a mystery to me. i have no special elegences no causes to crusade. i have nothing no strong belief that keeps me going only friends. friends i value greatly sometimes i feel i am doomed to failure and have no place in greatness and that my only salvation is to help others. i feel as though the after life could exist but what i fear most is ceasing to exist. i dont know what to believe truth is i never have. i dont know whats in store for me on the road ahead i just hope it gets better and i find direction so that im not lost stumbling through the darkness for my entire life.



anyway i hope you liked that im just gonna say that i wish you a great day and life and goodbye for now.

monster hunter awesomeness

ok i was wrong about the it not being public thing turns out my bro is just a weirdo i really lately don't know what to type at all nothing much has happened. i played battle block theater with my friend to get a monkey head which unfortunately only he ended up getting grumble grumble. i watched some one piece and learned about a new mechanic in mh4u where you can hunt monsters and get variants of normal armor and weapons so that was awesome.  i want op variants now but apparently these quests well first of all there is something with determined monsters that are different every time sometimes its unstable which basically means up to five monsters can show up and you probably don't know what most of them are. you can get the special equipment by mining in that location the more and stronger things you hunt the bigger the payout including better weapons and armor. depending on the monsters you hunt the weapon will be different with a bit of random thrown in there. depending o the monsters you fight you can also get quests to hunt those monsters there however these quests increase in difficulty every time you complete one also making the pay out bigger. the place changes every time two and so dose where different items are found so its different every time. blah blah blah blah cant think of anything else i am done for now.

i hope you enjoyed my babbling about a game chances are you've never even heard about. anyway feel free to leave some feed back or share an opinion. again i apologize for the grammar. i wish you a great day and a prosperous life. for now goodbye and goodnight.

home again

im back home again my friend wants me to play battle block theater and i hate my mom as much as ever. i don't want to set it to open to public now because i have to do a bunch of things first. anyway this is gonna be another short post cause i have to get to bed soon. i hope this gets more activity after i make it open to all sorts of peeps. anyway i feel really stupid about that. i was playing a bit of goat sim earlier and it was fun. i went to my grandmas i had a burger and fries and later cupcakes with whipping cream and raspberry's. i checked out some of my uncles new programming shiz.

idk what else to say so bye.

morehtephine

can not think brain will not think title is morehtephine cause i felt like it ok i told you my brain refuses to co-operate. anyway i m back to righting this and brain is less un-co-operative. anyway i have had allot of tea lately most of it with at least one and a half overflowing teaspoons of sugar.
i think i like cats just putting that out there because i don't know what else to say i guess. oh also on another note i am pretty sure this hole time this blogs been private or something so there's that. i am feeling really stupid about that but ill change it in the mourning. i am gonna go have some tea then get back to this. so now i am thinking putting three overflowing spoon fulls of sugar is one cup of tea is a horrible idea.anyway im goin home.

that's it for now i am going to end it quick this time and just say byeeeeeee.

this is basically really just babling

i am still in kelowna and i still don't know how much ill be able to update this my family still dos not know about the blog shhhhhhh. anyway i moved some more wood today i have another bit to do tomorrow and then i get moneys. today has been pretty good some work and allot of dog and cat petting. so far things have been pretty good. i still miss my video games talking to the friend i know in real life and the battle yacht i didn't get a chance to finish that. i was hoping to actually make some good stuff in gmod for once but meh you gain some you loose some. i always like to through a little of my opinions or some philosophical weirdness in there and i think its important that you have something to think about. me my dad and my bro where gonna play a special game of dnd 3.5 they plotted for me to play but my dad wont make his character sheet. and yes i am not just various degrees of normal nerd i am a table top role playing nerd two and yes not just dnd. to be honest i am quite amused at the thought of someone not knowing what im talking about with "dnd" and "table top role playing games". my recommendation if you don't know what either of those things are is just to search it up on the internet.

i honestly cant think of what else to say so i am gonna say i hope you liked it. if you have an opinion to share or anything of that nature feel free to comment. again i apologize for the bad grammar. i want to say i am very great full if you read this far or read any other of my posts. i wish you a great day and life, so with that goodbye for now.

kelowna

im up in kelowna. so far its been pretty good i am hauling some wood around my grandparents big yard for moneys so that's nice. my dad is here he isn't necessarily the best in my opinion personality wise but i respect him and admire him in some ways he is my dad after all. i haven't really done much so far other that sit around and pet the 3 dogs and one cat which i love doing. i only just got my bro to let me on his computer today and only by answering three different riddles with increasing difficulty he can be really irritating. i apologize for missing yesterday i tried but my bro is a pain. there's snow up here not a ton but quite a bit. they have gelatin powder so that's tasty i have a candy sitting beside me now and there was ice cream and strudel for desert yesterday. i don't know what else to say about that. humans do have allot of annoying psychological things for one my home area and specifically my school are places that for me make me kinda anxious and feel awkward. when i am here i don't feel as awkward anxious i feel more confident if only i knew how to work through the kinds of feelings my home area triggers.

anyway i think this is enough for now so i hope you enjoyed this and i am grateful if you read it this far or read any other posts. if you have any opinions or suggestions for a subject feel free to comment constructive criticism is encouraged but hate is not. again i apologize for the bad grammar. i wish you a great day and a great life that's about it so goodbye for now.

very very sleepy

this will probably be my last post for a while i try to update daily so i thought i should before i left.
i will finally see my dad i guess and my grandparents that live there i have other relatives up there two. kelowna if you didn't know oh ya i also don't know hot to spell it. i am really tired right now i am having trouble thinking what to say. i am very tired............  brain*tap tap tap*........ brain wake up.i try thinking and all that comes out is tired. sorry i cant think imma end it here.

i hope you liked it yada yada i wish you a great life and day and for now byeeeeee.

i sincerely don't know what to call this

so last night i slept with my old favorite stuffed animal it may sound childish or stupid but it helped me sleep more soundly. i just wish i had someone it would be nice. anyway now that where done talking about my non existent love life and my stuffed animals wow this is off to a good start.
anyway my a hole of a mom decides she is going to send me up to kellowna with my relatives for the time i have out of school which is complete bullshit because she only told me like two days in advance. that and she says she "needs a break" but i need a effing brake two. i feel like she thinks she needs a break  more than me and i feel like for hers she is taking away mine. i am pissed because i need time to relax sometimes and i hate being sent away all the time. i relax by going on the computer and talking to people people that i like that support me because i need emotional support sometimes. i am really grateful to these people because they really help me and they don't really want that much in return. i don't know i may be doing better now but i still feel like i am not good enough like i am not good at anything i feel so frustrated mad and sad. my family may not know that but right now i just feel venerable like even though i feel better than i have before most of the time now. this better state of mind i have tried to make i feel like its frail and beyond it is despair and if its broken now ill fall hard i need them. but recently while i was writing this my mom basically said i could stay home but she wouldn't be around much to help with anything much. i would stay but i haven't seen my dad in so long i miss him and would feel bad if they came all this way and then i didn't go. and on a related note i probably wont be updating my blog for a little less than a week i will try but i don't know if i will be able to update it up there.


anyway i think i am going to cut myself off at this point. i hope you enjoyed this i apologize for the grammar and feel free to share your thoughts. as always i wish you a happy day and life and say goodbye for now sooooooo gbye
.

self betterment i think thatll probably be apropriate...................

so i have thought about this for a while i keep wanting to look things up on the internet to try to helps me better myself i guess like helping me focus and such. lately i have also been online quite a bit and there have been people there for me that i really appreciate, i am not the happiest person but some people i know have really helped and it means allot to me. i feel like i waste allot of time on video games and don't spend nearly enough time on learning and working to make myself better. don't get me wrong i love video games and i don't really think they are a waste of time. but sometimes i wish i has made a few more friends got out more often or learned more things i may need important things i have neglected maybe even had a girlfriend. for me regret nags me allot it feels bad and i cant get over it. but ill never know if i would've had any of these things if i had acted differently. so i have decided i will try to better myself get out more often and find things on the internet to help me understand the world around me and myself better so that i can be a better person. ok maybe that's overstating it a little considering i have had that affinity before and i just slumped back on the couch XD. but ill try to use the internet to better myself that can be counted on.

anyway again i apologize for the bad grammar and i hope you guys enjoyed this. feel free to share your opinions in the comments. i wish you a great day and a great life but for now byeeeeeeee.

some random stuff ((again)) and some things about my blog

im playing prop hunt today i found a  glitch that if done right can guarantee a prop win on a pretty popular map. where using text to speech so typing is so much funnier XD. by the way while i type in doing the glitch so i can update. i am not gonna dot hat anymore though cause different map and its cheap. i didn't get to make the battle yacht when i thought we were gonna because i had to leave before that. life is pretty good right now but my confidence and stuff is still lacking. i have spots where i don't feel like playing video-games or really anything other than related to socializing with people is worthwhile. the name chronicle of a life actually makes a bit of sense its partially  because i want to record something that records who i am as a person. even people who will never know me will be able to know who i am and i think that's something really special and neat. a more sentimental value of it for me maybe is one day people who never knew me will be able to see who i was, because who i am is a person even after i am gone still exists in this world.

anyway hope you liked this unknown person i am currently addressing. in all honesty here i got a little deep on you at the end and i am using up all my good meterial here as not much happens in my life. so anyway i hope you have a great day and life. i hope you liked it please feel free to share your opinions and for now byeeeeeeeeee.

a good day

my day to day i didn't really have to do anything in English and the last block. later when I am home I am going to make a armoured battle yacht with my friend on Garry's mod. my friend downloaded a  yacht add-on for Garry's mod. I saw the yacht as a a error so basicly he had mentioned what it was so I asked him to link me to the add on page. we talked a little and I remembered the armoured battle car he had made or rather modified to be a armoured battle car so I ended up suggesting we make a armoured battle yacht. he was very enthusiastic about it but he was tired so he suggested we do it tomorrow that was late yesterday. so ya armoured battle yacht. my blogg you know the one your on  hit 100 page views which even though its not much I am very happy about.  I am essentially going to another friends house later today so that will also be fun for me. I did miss my first class but i was probably gonna fail that anyway but I don't need it to graduate and I found out I am doing pretty good in my other classes. its even the last day of this semester  and it looks like i am updating my blogg earlier than usual.

i hope you liked this update I enjoy making them anyway if you have something to say or an opinion to share feel free to comment. I thank you if you've read this far and encourage you to look around this bloggs other posts if you liked it ,although the other materiel isn't very similar so far. anyway my day is going really good so far I hope your day is just as great or better and wish you a great day and life.

100 views

ive finally got 100 page views well 101 now but whatever im really happy about it it may not be much but its definitely something and i thank anyone that has viewed my page anyway that's all for now this wont be my only post for today and for now bye i thank you all and i wiss you a good life and day

friends

i guess ill i know what ill talk about today..............

anyway today i wanted to talk about friends and such. i don't have very many but i greatly value anyone i find worthy of being called friend. i may be a little picky i may have my problems my quirks i may screw up but believe me if your willing to stick by me after all that then i will stick with you through anything no matter how hard it may be. because those i call friend mean allot to me even though i say this sometimes i feel as if i don't do enough to make sure they know that i value there friendship and to help them out. i not only want to stick by them but when i screw up or make them angry or feel hurt or anything i feel really bad. because there my friends i am supposed to help them not hurt them. for whatever reason they trust me and if i betray that trust then i feel as though i am not even worthy to be there friend. because anyone i call friend is someone i really respect and and i always admire at least some of there quality's. friends are just about the most important thing in my life right now and i don't know what i would do without them. to me losing an friend feels like loosing a part of myself. the misery of those i care about pains me but if i can help there misery i am willing to take on almost any burden. friends are people that help you when times get tough those who you fight and those who fight with you in a life time they can be many things these people are those i call friends. i have lost friends in the past but it wasn't pain full we just kinda drifted apart. its unfortunate but sometimes its just the way things happen plus it was when i was younger things were different back then.

anyway i hope you guys enjoyed this as always i apologize for the grammar. i hope you liked it i know its probably got some problems with it but i am trying to write better stuff. anyway i still hope you a great day and a happy life so for now goodbye. 

some babbling and a bit more

i yet again have nothing to say................................................... well its the middle of the weak and as for pretty much much any middle of the weak its meh. things are kinda boring i mean i talked to my friend a bit and finally found a customizable gun mod in gmod that stuff is kinda neat. anyway one thing i like to mess around with in gmod is making overly deadly saw blades in fact my most recent one is invisible and will slide infinity on a totally flat surface unless it hits something. i have also made a funny little portal scene but not much else really. i want to get to playing the new stuff i installed. so i guess since i cant really think of anything ill give you more specific updates some other times ill make it up i promise. there is one girl at my school i don't have a crush on  her don't get me wrong or anything.  seriously no just stop that train of thought right freaking now i know what your thinking about don't deny it now stop thinking about it. anyway she seems kinda depressed and more so like she has it pretty rough. i always feel like talking to her because i would like to help but its not like i even know her. i don't know she wrights poetry and her own little morbid book things and stuff which i have heard some about and frankly there a bit disturbing......... anyway i guessed i would share a little of my life with you guys cause obviously i am to lazy to think of anything.  as always  i wish you a great day and a great life and for now goodbye bye.

a clueless boys opinions on romance...... there more like facts........ but whatever

weather we like it or not there is one way to have a great romantic relationship both of you have to try. i might not have any first hand experience but that much i know. you need to connect with the one you love and make sure they always know they are loved. just telling someone you love them isn't always enough it helps to show them. im sure you've heard this before but if things get too boring and routine your passion for each other can fade away try to change things up from time to time. while i have not had the chance to have personal experiences with this i have read some articles in my spare time out of boredom. so i do know some and this stuff makes a lot of sense to me the first part is the most important of this and it makes so much sense. one last disclaimer dont go too crazy you get me (;.

.please leave your opinions on this with a comment if you would like to share your opinions, but please keep the hate to a minimum constructive criticism is fine though. as always i wish you a happy day and a happy life goodbye for now.

my crazy opinions please consider them and take a moment to think

i again have nothing to say so ill just talk five nights at freddy,s three is announced.... there is a teaser trailer here is the steam page. i have nothing more to say so im still going to continue anyway because i never really did know when to shut up. i might seem outgoing online but im really horrible at talking to new people or striking up a conversation in real life. i also feel horrible about any possible screw ups i might have made in social situations. but i do value the friends i do have very much and think greatly of every single one of them just for putting up with me, and even if not for that. im a very instinctual person if any of you have noticed so far i listen to my body and it listens in return. if you listen your body actually has a lot to say, and its my viewpoint that if you're attuned to the ways of your body you can tell alot about what s going on in your body and have more control over it. i also have the view if you pay attention and if you try hard enough you can become much more aware of the feelings of the people around you they dont always have to speak sometimes you just have to listen, if you pay attention there are allot more ways to communicate then words. an while im at it... some of you may know about the supposed "mystical abilities" of certain gemstones. please do not let this part sully your opinion of the others. i do not believe they have mystical abilities i do however believe that when there is a myth a legend or a stereotype about something it usually has some basis in reality. i do believe that its quite possible certain crystals may have certain special properties that can benefit humans. crystals have been used many ways many times in medical practices. i think that scientifically its possible there could be a basis for some of these things in science but i guess we'll just have to wait and see either way this is one of my more eccentric views please dont let it degrade your view of the others. well now that its probably either been established in your brain that im crazy or you think a part of this makes sense or you be like meh. i would like to know what you think of this please feel free to share your opinions in the comments. as always i wish you a happy day and a happy life i dont know what else to say but for now goodbye.

Nothing

by the way the poem the one before the one about stars title is simply "Nothing".to be honest i had allot of trouble reading it. i got this horrible feeling when i had to in front of the class it really means something to me i suppose but i did not nearly realize to what extent when i wrote it. then i ended up just saying the poem in front of my teacher and i still hand trouble my knees were shaking nearer to the end my voice was wavering and i found it hard to speak at some points and the pauses. i apparently did well though and she was very impressed with the poem itself. i had trouble with it and for a while i thought eventually i thought of this phrase "how does one pronounce their own futility confidently" its that kind of thing but i can't seem to find the words right words.
anyway just some rambling i suppose but i hope you liked it and i wish you a good day and a good life so for now byeeeeeee.

a on the spot poem because i have NOTHING to talk about that i can think of

ok im going to see if i can wright a poem because i have no idea what to say hope you enjoy this horrible mess




oh stars above and in the sky
i still see you yet you've all died
a after image day by day wondering what came your way
i wonder what is dead and gone and what does still continue on
did you die out in the sky
or are you still up in the sky
wondering on day by day
some stars we see have faded away
yet after the grave some have lead the way
i wonder if in the sky
deep out far in  the night
somewhere in space far away from this place
you can still see the dead living there day to day
are ancestors truly do live out in space
yet day by day out in space
we see what was another day
i wonder still the stars above are they true?
have they persisted on and on
or are they just from a time long gone


well i dont know i dont actually think this is complete shit. anyway if you like it or your mind is blown that is great thing for me and i just really hope you like this. i wrote this in under an hour probably under half an hour. i wish you a happy day and a happy life im just glad i could share my life with a few

a little more about my appearance and some things about being tall

i have to leave for something soon and im exhausting all my good material to early like the poem and the pictures and dreams i can't use those ones again and allot of my dreams are way to screwed up or private to tell anyone reading this. anyway i thought i would talk a little about my physical appearance well for one im very lanky ((tall/skinny)) for two i was never really that good looking to begin with and now that im a teen i have horrible acne and i dont usually sleep well so my eyelids sag and i have bags and dark spots under my eyes. thats all about that for now but ill talk about being tall and for all of those short people out there that think its the best thing in the world. lets get this out of the way in the first place being tall is nice i like being tall but just like just about every other trait it has its downfalls and it can be a pain in the ass to boot. i can reach high up things its very usefull and it makes up for my scrawny-ness if i ever have to look intimidating. i dont have a big problem with fitting places as im nimble and rather skinny although i hit my head way to often. it also attracts a bit more attention then average but when you are a goof up like me thats not really a good thing did i mention i was shy and socially awkward. anyway there are also problems associated with actually growing which you kinda have to do pretty quick when you're tall theres the growing pains its hard for your coordination and brain to adjust quick enough so you're constantly clumsy and it sucks. it also puts spine under more pressure though weather you're tall or fat your heart will have a harder time pumping the blood throughout your body fo em i can't stand still for two long or when i try to move my vision becomes blurry and it turns black for a moment at times. that said with all the down sides i still enjoy being tall and i think its good its generally useful and there are lots of things you can't do without a bit of height like reach the top shelf that's kinda stereotypical though. 

anyway i like sharing my opinions and im happy to share them with you guys. if you read this far im very thankful and i thank you for that but either way i wish you a good day and a happy life thats about it so for now goodbye.

the weekend and a poem to make up for my lack of ideas

finally its the weekend. i can play video-games and mess around to my hearts content. a game from one of my personal Favorite game series is coming out soon monster hunter 4 ultimate will come out and those in Canada and the us can finally try to kill a gigantic snake monster in mh this guys known as Dalamadur he may not sound threatening but take my word he is. anyway im really happy about the weekend i finally have some time to cool off and mess around but dont worry i wont be neglecting my blog. anyway i thank anyone that read this or anything else i've written for that matter and ima leave you with a poem since this post was so short i wrote it myself this one is personal for me so i hope you like it. it was written when i was doing a bit worse this is really significant to me and i hope some people like it. as always have a good day and goodbye. ((and dont expect something like this again cause i dont usually do this kinda thing and this is my best so far)).


I stand for nothing nothing at all not even this which I am to say
Nothing I stand no I haven't lost my way it was never found 
I don't even know why I do this though I have no purpose just marks 
But whatever this is its obviously crap I never even tried 
I don't even care I don't even know life goes on and I still stand for nothing
I know not that which is my fate or what I will do one day 
But of one thing I know right now I stand for nothing no nothing at all
Unknown to me the views of others I find no symbol to call my own
I tried I tried it all fell apart but the truth is I never really tried
Futile pointless searching finding but what what has been found
Of this I don't know of this life what have I accomplished 
What is improved how am I better than I once was before 
Vanish vanish weakness and pain continue the journey of not
Finding the strength going on everyday cause I never had room to complain
The point no one knows the journey we walk while some are lost 
At least there are others I don't travel alone and that is a miracle itself                                                              
Far from home close to home happy depressed the mind is always under duress                                            But as long as others do continue on, your paths may someday meet                                                                 And path from path help each other find their way and they may continue but why?
Why continue everyday losing more of what we were what we no longer are today
I stand for nothing nothing at all
Why the seeming endless journey we walk we walk hoping to find someone who will sympathies 
Not knowing where to go or when the path will end endless decisions different paths to tread
Sometimes the path seems clear ahead but when we reach it its engulfed in fire yet on we tread 
On and on I tread for nothing for not no reason no reason in sight
This endless journey we walk we run we jog it never stops I have no purpose yet I continue on
We continue we continue on I still have no reason no chosen path I continue not knowing what next
I just hope that one day no matter how far away ill find someone to help light my way

likes

ok is there like one person that keeps immediately liking them or are there are actually multiple people that have liked this stuff this is bugging me

mask a deeper sorrow

even though i've been doing better lately.... i have had some pretty bad times and today and school i just gave up and i gave in a i felt completely useless and defeated. all my confidence just faded away and i couldn't think strait for a little i regained my strength in not that much time. still the feeling of uselessness of defeatedness it was horrible. it made me wonder. did it really get that much better for me, or did i just put up a mask of strength a deep one that would help me march on but only hide my sorrow deeper.

.again i hope you have a good day. if you read all or any of this i thank you and if you have read the others than i thank you for that also byeeeeeeeee.

my dreams part of my twisted little mind

i've had some pretty weird dreams i thought it would be neat to share some of them with you guys.
i've had some pretty weird dreams and nightmares. ive had one about a super hero high school i had to do some fighting there were characters from my head and versions of real people alike. oh ya and i had to beat the principles ass down because apparently he was evil. i also happened to have impact powers so i could cause shockwaves of kinetic waves causing a proverbial impact only on touch though. thats not the first time i've had impact powers though although the other time it had to do with creating balls of a strange energy and chucking them at things. anyway thats a dream and then some now for some nightmares. i dont know what they meant but i always used to get these dreams.i would be in a van or car or something then i would either accidentally or not be able to control starting the gas and driving into water after that id drown and usually wake up. theres a few less common nightmares but this is another big one. basicly i was up in the air and usually i would jump or fall out of a helicopter or off a building or something one time  i had the dream i decided i wouldn't die and when i hit the ground i super jumped up and did that a few more times and i was fine. after i faced my nightmares they just kinda drifted off with less and less frequency then eventually they just stopped completely.

anyway i just thought i would give all of you a taste of my twisted little mind ,i thought it might be interesting for some of you. oh and also if a psychologist reads this can you tell me what it means. anyway have a nice day i apreciate if you've read this and by for now.

the musings of a madman

i haven't been able to remember my dreams for a while i hope to remember some soon. i dont know it kinda feels like their significant in some way like remembering them could help me i dont know sorta become more attuned to my subconscious. which could help better me mentally i dont know just the musings of a madman i suppose i spend way too much time in my head its kinda freaky/creepy in there.
.i appreciate anyone that takes the time to read or think about my posts i wish you a could day and appreciate it if you've read this.


((edit)) last knight i had no luck im able to remember what it was about vividly it was about a game i was in i think nothing particularly significant

CUBE WORLD much game very good wow really in all seriousness in my opinion its a very good game please give it a look if you're at all interested

 i want to update everyday but nothing's really going on. so i decided to talk a little about one of my favorite  games, that i feel like deserves a little more love cube world. now i want to start off by saying its on picroma.com so you do need to make a picroma acount or if you have one use that to bye the game. cube world is twenty dollars us i believe now that the technical information is out of the way there are a few things you might want to know. the system requirements seem like they are actually optimized for some older software so you should probably check those out yourself if you're thinking of buying it.i do have quite a good computer its a bit old but 6gb of ram ((less effectively at this point)) with a ssd and windows 7 home premium. it can be a bit laggy with the server file its quite unstable but atleast it has one. it doesn't  actually lag normally but there is a mist were its not loaded and basicly you can't see anything if its not loaded. and it doesn't load that quickly now i have to make sure you considered that it is not optimized in the slightest for the game and my friends weaker computer runs it maybe even better. also the fps starts very high so when you get in you'll probably want to turn it down ((its like 100 fps)) its quite a bit better with that lowered and it works much better for me since i did that. remember though cube world is still in alpha. unfortunately it
has not been updated in a long time but this is because it has a huge update on the way and it only has two people working on it and so far i think its an amazing game. its a randomly generated voxel based fantasy rpg it is not a sandbox some of the main features are 3 classes more planned randomly generated worlds with a bunch of biomes more to be added. there are a number of bosses different buffed large versions of enemies can be bosses as well as specific boss mobs they often appear in defined areas or dungeons. you can have pets that different pets can attack in different ways. you can get the taming items from killing enemies some fly but can't go under water some are tanks one heals and quite a few are ridable but are generally weaker than some of the non rideable pets. some punch or do the normal lunge attack there are some with ranged if your under their level they will be brought down to your level when tamed and gain xp from killing enemies same as you they also respawn every twenty seconds i believe. there is also skill based combat system you must dodge at the right times combos build up armor penetration making high armor targets killable with a high enough combo only at certain levels. there are specific weapons and armor and small skill trees for each class there is also to types of each class ex mage healer/dps /water magick/fire magick at this point the skill points have little difference but are somewhat different. you can climb with the climbing skill you can climb as long as your stamina meter has any stamina left. you can also level a pet taming skill which increases your pets hp  then from their with that at level five pet riding which you can level to ride faster as for the speed the animal doesn't matter but they need water to be ridden. you can level the climbing skill to level five to unlock hang gliding yes you can hang glide if you equip a hang glider in your special slot. you can level swimming to swim faster and then boating to use a boat with a boat equipd of course. and then ill leave the class skills for you to discover. their is a level system you get two skill points per level. there's also a power stat determined by your level which determines what equipment you can use and how strong the enemies you encounter are its on a scale from 1 to 100. though you can level infinitely the max power i believe is reached somewhere in the 1600 yes thats right when you start that level may seem unreachable. the questing system will be improved in the next update but for now each in game day some quests are generated across the world and in the quest locations are markers these tell you where they are on the map of course.
then you have to get their and usually the objective is to kill a boss in the area. you can also craft stronger food and potions as you level an can find recipes to make equipment using materials you can find in your journey. thats basicly all i have to say for now  again i appreciate it allot if you've read this far. if you've read all of them im very impressed and happy about that. again i think its a great game that needs some more love and please check out the website by using the links you can find much better and more detailed information on it there and it would mean allot to me if you gave it a look i have no ulterior motives i just love this game and wish it success and for more people to play this game because in my opinion its a great game anyway you can also find even more info on the wiki which i guess im gonna link that to now so there you go i hope you enjoyed this post and found it informative i wish you a good day and a good life goo bye.

my interest the finer things

some of my nicest nicknacks 

if you read the first post these are the new wine glasses i told you about. the green christmasy looking thing that isn't a wine glass was originally unpainted but my grandma bought and painted it while i was in kelowna and she ended up giving it to me :).  also i got all these in some second hand stores in kelowna my grandma paid for them and they were pretty cheap too. but if you noticed there's a ring in the large green "goblet" or atleast thats what im calling it its the largest glass (:. its just a ring i ordered online my only complaint is that its not thicker and if you look closely you can tell where its connected. oh well i like plain simple clean and nice looking and as far as im concerned that's what i got and i only paid like 17 bucks including shipping from the us. 

again feel free to comment speak your mind try to keep the hate a to a minimum but i would always like to hear your opinion thanks to anyone that looked at and read this it means quite a bit and i wish you a good day bye for now.

my headphones

                                     my f****** broken thirty dollar headphones

so i got this old model of headphones a while ago they were being discontinued so ya basically they got a piece taken out of the part that holds the headphones on at some point and i was trying to pull them outa my bag by the headphone i was a bit angry since ever since i got them my mom expects me to wear them instead of her being quieter or me making it louder so it broke and my mom doesn't think she is to blame in the slightest because she has this philosophy of your responsible for your on actions but every action has a reaction and she pissed me off so they broke it's as simple as that they were really comfy and sounded great they had a warranty but since they didn't cost as much at the time i think they would normally cost fifty but dont think i'll be able to get a pair as good so ya F***

the first post of a blog

                        the first post of a blog

                                         
so before this i had so much to say i thought i'd write a lot but now that we're to it im coming up blank. so i guess im going to just continue to babble and something should come out, right right?
that always happens to me i have a bunch of usually deep or personal or significant things to say and as soon as i have the chance to say type exc exc i forget the most important stuff every time seriously. so i guess im gonna try to think of something. so i guess ill give a summary of the insanity that will be my blogg although this is a rough estimate.it wil be a jumble ill have some pretty sad or depressing stuff ill whine about life. i might talk about my friends which i dont have very many of one really yah thats some of the depressing stuff for ya, probably some games im interested in like or reccomend. there will probably be a lot of rambling as you may have already guessed. i may be angry at times sometimes i may be reserved while other times ill pour my heart and soul out hoping for someone to take notice. there'll be happy times to dont worry about that at times i may even talk about other things that happened to me online. now im warning you off the bat i have some problems i say stupid things and ima  teenager so ill probably say some regrettable stuff but please bare with me for that. i talk a lot about basically whatever suits my fancy so that will probably translate to here pretty well. i might start a youtube channel at some point do not quote me on that .now i can't think of anything else to say on that so for now how about a bit about me. i am male i just thought that was a sound thing to start off with. i live in canada thats the most im saying about where i live. i enjoy videogames and right now the career path i am on is that of a chef im also interested in programing and especially helping to create a game world but hay we will see what happens. i have a brother and a mother my dad doesn't live near where i am thats just me immediate family. i happen to have a particular affinity towards ,trinkets,silver,rings,silver rings and wine glasses not that i would ever drink wine but the glasses are aesthetically pleasing i happen to have a silver ring and some new wine glasses that i'll likely post the pictures of soon. i have an interest in the medieval period especially medieval warfare, i also have a interest in weapons in general especially swords and the likewise.
i like roleplaying games the kind on pc and table top cough cough instant proclamation of nerdom. i also like pokemon and anime of all kinds i happen to hate undead the thing i like about them is when i can blow their heads off. im tall and have a quite a bit of acne. some last notes since i cant think of more to say. first off i apologize for the bad grammar i just stink at grammar, second i would like to thank anyone that has read this far that means allot, third i hope to post regularly. and forth in would like to hear your feedback if you would like to give it just try to keep the strait out hate to a minimum. you can criticize but i dont mean hate i mean rather constructive criticism im open to whatever you have to say so if you feel like it be free to express yourself on the subject of this blog.