college

so i wanted to to keep this relatively active that and i was bored and didn't know what to do for my last 10 minutes on my computer today so here's a thing. so im not bad at math. but im lazy and often slack off especially when i was younger(i say that loosely) so in an earlier math grade i neglected to do almost all my homework and nearly failed. they put me in a simpler math course the year after even after i had repeatedly said i do not want to take a easier course no matter what because im not bad at it really as i said i just slacked off that year. so now lets go to present day.... im trying to get into a college i have to do grade 10 math in an online course right now at my school but i have to get a certain mark in grade 11 math to get into the program i want to take. so im going to take an exam to try to get grade 11 qualifications so i can take my course otherwise thats the fee's that have already been payed down the drain and a year of probably actually trying to get a real job/trying to maintain it and be out in public ((which is a problem because i have quite bad anxiety(especially in social situations) depression im bad with people(or atleast not very confident in my ability to effectively be social) and im a bit mentally and emotionally unstable)) and even if it was McDonald im not sure i could handle it. now after that detour from the subject ahem, ive recently found out its a fifty to 60 hour workload a week as ive said im lazy and unstable i also have issues with tiredness consistently which interferes with my ability to 'get shit done' as some may say. im used to playing games allot of time and slacking off with this workload it would result in very close to 7:08:31 a day on the likely unreasonable low end including weekends about 7:51:25 a day at 55 hours a week the mid range..... and 08:34:16 a day at 60 hours a week. the workload described is something im not used to and that's if i clean up my act and get my credentials ready for the course, im already not doing very well in any of my courses in all honesty im a bit behind in each including math 10 which could be catastrophic if im not careful.

honestly im not sure if im cut out to make it in this world sometimes i think im too weak, im certainly no where near a perfect or even peak specimen im a meh human in my abilities and genetic makeup at best.                                                    

my course is a computer one, i want to take it for programming.
i want to become a video game programmer if i could do it well, i would be moderately wealthy have great working conditions.
my only current real dream for the future is to eventually be able to start my own small indie games company and actually make money off of it and make games i and the team Want to make of our own design.

but to do all all of that i have to get the credentials be able to finish the course with little down time for myself and be a good worker after as well as overcoming many of my flaws (such as sleepiness and anxiety/depression social ineptitude) and that's not easy, its very very hard and it terrifies me.


so all goodnight good day have a good week have a nice life and i hope you enjoyed my ramblings negative and sad as they may be.
                

climate change

if you have proof correct me if im wrong but i believe human caused climate change is a large factor in the dangerous weather that's been happening lately. apearntly one of the things climate change/global warmin dose it it dose not just heat up the earth.... well like the coral bleaching that was us by the way it dose that hot current hit hard i think it was the hot one anyway. as an additional note coral produces allot of the oxygen on the planet and considering how fast humans go through tree's we need those, that and coral produces allot more than tree's to my knowledge so we definitely need those. now the real issue the weather so apearntly something the global warming/climate change dose is slow down and generally mess with weather patterns i don't know about you but we got one hell of a long winter int canada, and yes FOR Canada specifically it was long its not that frozen here by the way as a note hardly anyone actually lives in the upper sections of canada its mostly along the border. i apologize im amazing at getting off topic so yeah basically it causes weather patterns to slow down and generally messes with them and also messes with el-ninyo ((i don't know how to spell it im sorry)) and the other current don't remember that ones name, i learned these things in my school because everyone gets good free education in canada..... trust me legit the schools are actually consistently good.




anyway this is late so i apologize if its ranty and badly structured but im my defense this is very late and i want to live in a  nice world im still young.... , have a good day, week ,month ,year, life, night. i hope you enjoyed the article and i will eventually add a picture for the ring thing i promise.

P.S if you don't believe in climate change i weep for thee go get some knowledge read a book or something it is not something you believe in its something scientifically proven.

my Band (ill add a picture later)

so i got a sterling silver band for graduation its as think as a ring silver very pretty and elegant, i lost it under the bleachers or in the field.  i don't think ill ever get it back i looked for hours today and for at least 2 hours another day it was one of my favorite possessions, im very sad ;-; i still have a picture ill add it later.

(edit) its been years probably no one will even check this anymore i still wonder who subscribed
cause there where some consistent viewers but im adding a picture, i did what i said i did never find it.

Gender, Stop Word Abuse

So i know its been a while and i was starting to actually have a vaguely significant amount of people view this blogs posts i don't know who or why but thank you and i suppose im sorry if you care.
i rather hope someone still sees this although my original intent for this was supposed to be more of a venting diary, its nice to know some people have a vague amount of intrigue in my life and or opinions.


onto today's subject a touchy one which is honestly stupid that it is, Gender.

first of all i apologize if i offended you but these are my opinions period, second of all how did you find me?

so basically the issue being that there are people who believe gender is something you get to decide, its what you want to be treated as and not what you are this is Incorrect.

it irritates me greatly that people think this way its not that i don't think guys can't act like/dress like/ect girls and visa versa its simply that gender is something already defined.

you see we have words and groups of words that aptly represent the groups that like to represent themselves as another gender ect ect different sexuality identifications. the problem is when people start butchering an important and and previously well defined term in the English language, Gender. you see we have terms for all these other things and gender as well. when people however start using gender incorrectly to describe these things that already have appropriate terminology, it skews and warps the a perfectly good necessary and effective word which is of course gender and has the potential to leave a gap in the English language. ((or cause innumerable stupid needless arguments online)). another point is allot of people say your gender is your genitalia or try to define it otherwise
your gender is either male female or other you have all male parts? male you have all female parts? female you have some sort of deformity so that you have a mixture? other. and trans people in my opinion are for all intensive purposes there chosen gender.. after the procedure of course.

and one last note to help clarify and hopefully actually help sort this a tiny insignificant bit, if anyone reads this and ever feels the urge to call themselves a gender they aren't actually physically at least use the term "gender identity". using the term gender identity helps clear things up abit... unless your "other" then you can use your discretion as it could certainly be extremely awkward.

anyway as always everyone reading this have a good day have a good life and ill see you next time.... if i ever feel the need to blog again i couldn't remember exactly what i usually say soooo this is what you get also i want to get back to my game.