Subject: do you care enough to read through it?
do you want to know why i hate you so much
years years of suffering you know when i was a child how i was so very afraid of death the trauma from that never left
you never show me affection or hug me or try to calm me down when im upset or angry you avoid me your afraid and it hurts me when you threaten punishment instead of trying to calm me down or comfort me or anything
after years of my mom ordering me around never seeming to truly care is it any wonder why i resent you so much want an example how many YEARS has it been since you've hugged me
you buy me things feed me and give me cloths i have a place to sleep but you never thought that maybe there was something missing well guess what all those years all that affection that i was never given feeling unwanted and un-cared for my own mother afraid of me like i am a monster it took its tole and now my self esteem my confidence my determination they all took a hit all demolished. worse then that they where never built up
i am a damaged person and i will never be who i could have been and im not usually proud of who i am. i am screwed up and i know it and you need to realize why
((this is not part of the email i wanted to fix something she actually dose hug me at bedtime but it dose not seem to mean anything it just feels like part of the schedule))
sorry for not posting for a while i got really depressed and felt shitty i wish you awesome chiz and goodbye
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